‘Tis the end of the year chums, and here at Together Agency we have compiled a list of the incredibly important lessons we have learnt over the year of 2012.
It’s partly for you enjoyment, it mostly as a great big ‘in your face’ to the Mayans. We’re still here you Mayan rascals. Idiots.
Designer John’s beard is better than all of Jeff Goldblum’s films. Except Jurassic Park. And Independence Day.
It is neither possible, nor sensible, to eat three Jammie Dodgers at once.
We once saw a pigeon be sick on another pigeon and then try to eat him. There must be a lesson in there somewhere.
You know you are living in an unfair world when there will be nine Star Wars films and only two Poseidon Adventures.
If you know nothing about Olympic Judo, do not bet on the outcome of Olympic Judo.
There is no maximum number of cheeses you can have on a single sandwich, although a rough guide would probably be six.
The greatest practical joke you can ever play is stealthily opening someone’s bag of crisps, emptying the contents, replacing it with an entirely different kind of crisp and then resealing it. Blows. Their. Mind.
Every agency needs a catchphrase. Ours is: ‘If you touch the biscuit, you eat the biscuit.’
Pork scratchings and a pint of Brew Dog are two of your five a day. Maybe.
Never try and build a friend out of Toblerone. And certainly never give your Toblerone friend a name (like, say, Sebastian Racksaddle). It makes it so much harder when you have to eat him.
If something smells like soup, that thing will undoubtedly be good.
If you find yourself at a loss, ask yourself this: ‘What would Wesley Snipes do?’
That is our wisdom, as it were.
Have a magnificent Christmas and a truly splendid New Year from all your chums at Together.