we think

My bus journey to work have thrown up some rather interesting sights and experiences over the years.

My personal favourite was the sight of a bad jogger being angrily chased by a milk float – low speed action-chases are far more engrossing that high-octane Hollywood ones, let me tell you.

But this morning, my bus journey ‘window on the world’ threw up an entirely new and thoroughly depressing sight.

By the side of the road was a completely miserable looking fellow dressed as a giant human-pizza box. He was promoting an offer for a major pizza brand which I shall not name (these scoundrels know exactly who they are).

As the journey progressed it seems that the sad box man was not alone. He was in fact part of an entire team of melancholy pizza promoters, lining the route to town like a ghostly army of emotionally ruined Italian-food man-beasts.

Now, I enjoy a slice of cheesy goodness as much as the next chap. I also enjoy people dressed in comedy ways – a man dressed as a jelly fish running up and down a crowded beach terrorising bathers would, I’m sad to say, make me chuckle.

But a line must be drawn and, with my newly sharpened pencil of human decency, I am drawing that line right here.

Seeing the wretched box men did not fill me with an overwhelming desire to pick up the phone and have a ‘Meaty Munchy’ whisked instantly to my door. It did not inspire any feelings of hunger whatsoever. Quite the opposite.

Frankly the listless faces poking out from the enormous pizza boxes made me feel grubby and heartless for being the target audience for such an undignified piece of poorly judged promotion.

Imagine if a petrol company forced an oil drenched seabird to flap around bearing a sign that read,

‘Our oil is so oily it can make birds greasy and rubbish at flying.’

It doesn’t inspire you to dash to the pumps and fill your car with what is essentially the weeping tears of Mother Nature herself. The same unengaged thoughtlessness applies here. Sort of.

As someone from the world of marketing I also find it quite frightening that a major brand can still sign-off on this kind of remarkably crude marketing.

It seems that in the internet age, when bright and original ideas are supposedly more prevalent and available than ever before, ridiculous and short-sighted schemes can still somehow wriggle their way through the door.

It’s enough to make you weep. Or guffaw. Whatever you fancy.

But alas, I can feel the soap box creaking under the weight of my incredibly high horse so I shall put and end to my rant.

All I will ask is that if you ever see the pizza box men on a street near you, stop and give them a hug. Those brave souls.